5.20.09 - radiation #3

six months ago today i had the bilateral mastectomy. that feels like decades ago.

had my third radiation treatment today. the tomotherapy machine was 2 hours behind schedule this morning because the magnetometer was broken. by my 2 p.m. appointment, they were running 1.5 hours behind. people in the waiting room told me the same thing happened last friday. i was assured by dr. rost and linda ferris (head of institute for cancer) in december (when i was debating whether to have tomotherapy at renown or regular radiation with another radiation oncologist who told me that the machines at renown always break down) that the machine never breaks down!! i hope this isn't a trend.

the waiting room in radiology is so very different from the chemo infusion room. the chemo room was depressing and quiet and people rarely talked to one another. it was also a visually hideous place to be--very bright fluorescent lights, old ratty recliners, ugly furniture, many TVs that were on at the same time and sometimes too loud. the radiology waiting room is so different--pastel colors, a large aquarium, no TV (thank you, designer!!), and new furniture. each time i have walked into this room, whoever is there has said hello and has started talking to me. today when i walked in, six people said hello to me at the same time.

the first day i sat next to a woman who was waiting for her husband to get radiation. she said his cancer has spread to the prostate and kidneys. she looked completely worn out.

yesterday in the waiting room was a woman who had breast cancer three years ago, had a bilateral mastectomy, and her cancer came back this year. she's having chemotherapy and radiation AGAIN. i really do have to just enjoy every single day and not dwell on recurrence. i don't feel like i have a good chance since my birth mother and grandmother both died of breast cancer that spread to the bone very soon after their breast cancer diagnosis. i'll get the BRCA gene test soon.

today i sat next to a woman who told me she's a western shoshone indian and lives on the indian reservation 26 miles outside of elko, NV. it's a 5-hour drive for her to get radiation, so she stays with her daughter and granddaughter in carson city. she told me she had 10 chemotherapy sessions in salt lake city, and because she lived so far away, her chemo went home with her in a bag she kept on her shoulder. she had chemo at home for days at a time. her hands and feet turned black and are numb. she got sick of chemo and just quit in midstream! she'll have 5 radiation treatments and be finished. she had colon cancer.

we talked about her granddaughter, who is 3 and doesn't like for her to nap in the afternoons, because "you're not supposed to sleep when it's daytime." and we talked about her growing up on the indian reservation. she still speaks a little shoshone, but never taught her daughter, and said very few people still speak it on the reservation. that seemed very sad to me.

i'm fascinated by these people and i love meeting new people every single day for just a few minutes in the same room. i feel like i'm in a movie.

i don't feel anything during or after radiation. there are no changes in the chest area so far. the oncologist said i might get reddening like a sunburn, and i will probably get very fatigued after a week or so.

this morning i walked eight miles! i feel great. had a fantastic BBQ lunch with matt today - he warms my heart.