9.30.08 home to the mountains

september 30, 2008

home to the mountains and good air, huge sky, space everywhere.

bubble bath early, in bed reading, so nice to be home and asleep early, hearing the wind outside from the mountains. as i fell asleep, remembering the amazing shapes, canyons of the landscapes down below as i flew home.

afraid of the october 3rd mammogram. don't want bad news and disruption.

9.26.08 mom's birthday - 80

mom's birthday. 80

balloons and banana split.

in 26 years i'll be her age if i like that long.

family birthday party - everyone around the big table - margaritas, mexican food, laughter. she looks happier than i've seen her in years.

praying for a quick, painless death. for all of us.

9.24.08 birthday in dallas - 54

birthday. 54.

with mom and wally. dallas.

family photos on her bookshelf are exactly like mine at home.

please let the mammogram be okay. i want a few years.

9.18.08 receiving the letter

"your recent mammography examination showed a finding that requires additional imaging studies for a complete evaluation. Most such findings are benign (not cancer). Please schedule an appointment for these tests."

racing heart

i do not want to die before my mom. she would be scared without my help.

matt and molly coming over for dinner tonight.

thoughts. it's been a good life. all my dreams have come true.

9.12.08 - mammogram

annual mammogram.

i can't get over the fact that there is free parking everywhere in reno. the medical offices are spacious and there is lots of parking. not crowded anywhere. this is so not california.

a fireplace in the radiology waiting room.

9.11.08 - annual GYN visit - lump

first visit with dr. liz hutson, new GYN. told her i had felt a sore spot near the center of my chest, just at the right breast. she couldn't feel it. told her i had my annual mammogram scheduled for tomorrow. she said, "i'm sure you'll be fine."

9.5.08 something feels wrong

was in bed reading last night, book on my chest. felt a sore spot in my right breast, very tiny area, on the muscle. have GYN appt coming up, will mention it.